The Bargain-Basement Bartered Bride

So, one of my friends is trying to convince me to marry him. He was, apparently, insulted when I reminded him about a conversation we had where we decided we could NOT marry each other. This conversation was brought about by an over-abundance of alcohol on his part and an under-abundance of sleep on mine. Only God knows now about what conversation topic brought about this momentous decision, because it's a sure fact that neither of the parties involved do! The topic came up again and my friend decided he was insulted that I would not marry him (although he has made that decision too, I remind him!) and proceeded to try to convince me that he would be my perfect husband. Considering that apparently his idea of my perfect husband is a guy I only have to see one day a week, except for the time that I serve him the grilled cheese sandwich I would be making daily for his lunch, I really don't think he has a handle on what I desire for my marriage to look like - but what the hey. My friend, deciding that I was not impressed by his amorous attentions in my directions switched his theme, "And, hey, I'm willing to give your dad 35 head of cattle for your hand in marriage, some sheep, and a few chickens." Deciding that I was worth more than a mere 35 head of cattle, I started telling his cousins that he'd offered 60 head of cattle. Of course, they pointed out that the only cow he'd ever had was long dead and buried, suggesting that maybe he should dig the carcass up and give THAT to my dad. It was quite the blow. I went from being worth 60 head of cattle to one rotting cow carcass. Quite the bargain-basement bartered bride. Of course, he could always rustle some cows. Getting them to the island though...that's what will be the hard part.